The question
My son is two years and nine months. When I visit a friend and her daughter is there, the same age as my son, he is very happy and plays with her toys, but the girl takes everything from him and pushes him and doesn't allow him to touch anything. The problem is that my son shows no anger at her behaviour, doesn't come to me to complain about the other children, and stays away from her. Sometimes he is afraid of her because she is aggressive. Is his reaction normal?
My second question: how do I act in front of my son so he learns the appropriate response? Honestly I am very bothered and embarrassed to say anything, because I am in someone's home with their toys. I say I will never repeat the visit.
Please advise me what to say in front of my son so he learns from me how to defend himself.
Our answer
May Allah preserve you and bless you. Take it easy on yourself. Your son is small, and as the Prophet ﷺ said: "The child is a cause of miserliness and cowardice" — and in another narration with the addition "and grief." So don't look at the matter with these feelings. Let your little one learn from his surroundings how to respond in his own way, and don't push him to a behaviour that may seem sound to you but harms him and harms those around him.
How long does this visit take? Per day? Per week? Per month? Don't make it an obstacle. Rather follow your little one and watch how he behaves, without injustice or aggression. There is no harm in him playing with others — this is generosity of soul on his part. Make it up to him with a tarbawi program that builds his concepts and teaches him how to understand life. Take it easy on yourself and focus on the Mirath preparatory curriculum. You can begin with him and focus on the educational and tarbawi value, and with du'a and care, enjoy the pleasure of teaching him as he grows before your eyes and learns from you. May Allah grant you success and open the way for you and delight your eyes with him as an imam of the God-fearing, a hero.
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