The question
My son is in first grade and he is the oldest among his siblings. From the start of the school year I alerted him to leave bad companionship and those who speak foully.
He often comes home from school saying all the boys speak foul words (calling each other animal names and other things) and he doesn't play with any of them.
What to do in this case?
Our answer
May Allah bless you and aid you in raising them righteously.
It would be wonderful if you described to your son the good companion and the bad companion from the hadith of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ:
"The example of the good companion and the bad companion is like the bearer of musk and the blower of the bellows. The bearer of musk will either give you some, or you will buy from him, or you will find a pleasant scent from him. The blower of the bellows will either burn your clothes, or you will find a foul smell from him." (Agreed upon)
That is: expand for him the meaning of the good friend and the bad friend, and that he should not avoid those who utter such words — for this calls him to non-acceptance of others and to isolation. So tell him: hold fast to enjoining good and forbidding evil, while trying to befriend the good among his classmates (responsible, of good character...).
After looking into the matter of those who speak foully, and choosing the appropriate time, give them advice and clarify the effect of this and its sin.
If you can place him with those who try to memorize the Book of Allah, or to join masjids and other places that allow for the presence of good people, that would be a great good.
Make your dialogue with your son a constructive, critical one. Give him the opportunity, when he returns from school, to tell you about the situations he faced. Guide him to what is better for him and how to handle things in the coming times, or offer him advice that will be a shield against the evil of evildoers.
Do not require him to play only with those like him — this makes him insular. But let him try to be a cause of changing them, taking their hands to good.
May Allah aid you all.
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