Children's Behaviour

How do I rid my child of the insults he has picked up?

Jeel al-Khilafah

The question

How can I help my son rid himself of the insulting words he has picked up from his environment?

At first I would ignore it so he would forget, but unfortunately these words keep being repeated in his hearing, and his awareness is still too limited to grasp right and wrong.

So I began telling him: Allah sees you, this is haram, you are a beautiful Muslim who speaks beautiful words. I'd ask him to make istighfar — and he does, and says he won't repeat them. But he repeats them whenever someone angers him, and I repeat the same words every time.

Is this right, or should I take a different approach so he understands?

Our answer

The real question is: why does he continue in an environment where this is common? Can you not pull him out of such a setting? In this case, all you have left is to build his self-respect. Strengthen the feeling of nobility-through-faith in him, so that he is not like everyone else who curses and swears, and let him be distinguished as a hero, a Muslim child who loves his Lord and fears Him. Explain to him the harm in it: would he like for someone to treat him this way, or to treat his mother or those he loves? Gradually, build in him an awareness that runs counter to this environment. And Allah is the one whose help is sought. May Allah grant you success.

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