The question
My daughter is four and a half. Sometimes we get together with relatives and she plays with the little ones, and sometimes her cousin (her aunt's son) kisses her or hugs her — and he is five — fleetingly, or at the beginning of a meeting when we come. I do not like this at all.
Should I alert her, or leave the matter spontaneous?
Our answer
May Allah preserve you and bless you. The matter happens spontaneously, but it is better that the boy be alerted to his behaviour, because he has begun to grow and is entering the age of discernment. He must know that the boy is a little man and does not greet girls in this way. Build awareness in him about this gradually, not confrontationally. He enters the concept of separating in sleeping places.
As for the little girl, she still does not grasp the reality fully — so even if you alert her she won't take it in. The boy is the one initiating, so prevention is better than cure. Try to keep her away from being alone or attached to him early, so this habit doesn't grow between them. Be with them at the moment of meeting to intervene gently and guide them. May Allah protect and bless them, and delight your eyes with them.
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