The question
I have boys and live far from my husband's family. Whenever we visit them, they begin making comparisons among my children and between my children and their cousins — comparisons in Qur'an memorization, in studies, in understanding, and beyond.
How can I handle this matter, may Allah bless you?
Our answer
May Allah preserve you and bless you. First, you should advise them to stop making comparisons. The reckoning is in the conclusions. They must not inflame the breasts of the young ones and create resentments between them through such comparisons — these are nothing but a form of blameworthy boasting. May Allah preserve your children and make them a treasure for their religion and their Ummah.
It is better that you build awareness for your children that these comparisons are not what they should carry as their concern, but rather the pleasure of their Lord, the Most Majestic. Try to magnify the love of Allah, the Exalted, in their hearts, so their sincerity is for Allah and not for people, nor in compliance with the dictates of their surroundings. This is enough for you, by Allah's leave, through the tarbawi stories of the sirah of the Prophet ﷺ and his noble Companions (may Allah be pleased with them). Teach them not to be preoccupied with people but with the pleasure of the Lord of people.
May Allah grant you success in raising them well and make them imams of the God-fearing.
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