My son is shy and doesn't defend himself — what's the solution?

My son is shy and doesn't defend himself — what's the solution? . Emotions & Feelings . My sons are six and five years old. They are shy, not sociable, and they always tend to play with girls more than with boys. The older one is afraid and unable to defend himself even if a younger girl hits him, or another boy as well. He is very temperamental, and this is a result of how I treated him with harshness and anger because I was going through psychological pressure and tension. How do I treat this in him? I hope Allah uses you to help me find the answer. I want to raise them in a balanced, sound way — to be strong in Allah and not fear, for the sake of Allah, the blame of any blamer. I teach them moral stories and Allah's beautiful names in a simplified way, and surahs and simplified meanings — but they don't like it, and they sit grumbling and angry until the teacher's lesson ends, or my explanation ends. So I say if I pressure them they'll come to hate learning this way. I'm confused — what do I do? . May Allah preserve you and bless you. Here we're dealing with addressing the repercussions of angry, reactive tarbiyah. The best thing I advise you with: begin with them memorizing the Holy Qur'an — even if little done consistently is better than much done sporadically — and ideally the memorization should be with a man. Then choose a sport that is available to you and enroll them to practice a physical sport they keep up with. In this way you fortify the heart and raise the body upon strength. At the same time, focus on stories of role models and tales of heroism and courage. Keep them away from playing with girls, and try to make it up to them with games suited to boys, especially educational ones containing the idea of building, making, and defense. Pay attention to the speech you direct toward them — a speech that befits little men: giving them confidence and reinforcing the spirit of responsibility in them. Let their interaction with men be more, through the men in the family, and direct tasks to the men, like buying and carrying suitable things for them. With du'a, patience, and reliance on Allah, you will see, by Allah's leave, the fruits of your efforts in raising them. May Allah delight your eyes with them as imams of the God-fearing.