Children's Behaviour

Is a child taking something without permission considered stealing?

Jeel al-Khilafah

The question

If a child takes something from a place or person without their knowledge or any permission, is this called stealing?

If the thing isn't returned to its owners, this is a mistake and the act may repeat. If the thing is returned with an apology, this act will remain stuck in memory until they grow up, and they may be taunted for it as a thief and untrustworthy, and so on — even if they stopped doing it.

So what is the correct tarbawi solution, and how do we handle the child and the thing he took? May Allah reward you with good in both abodes.

Our answer

This act is considered stealing for us who are obligated. But children don't realize that until we show them and teach them that it is stealing, and instruct them, and make clear to them its forbiddenness and its effects on society and the individual.

In a case like this, you can teach your child — even though he isn't yet obligated — that it is stealing, that Allah does not love it, and that Allah will hold him accountable. Make clear to him the feelings of the owner who loses something because of his stealing it. Ask him: if you were in his place, how would your feeling be when something you love is stolen from you?

When he takes something without permission, or when he likes someone else's belongings and steals them, you must return it the first time without telling people, so as to lessen on yourself and on him the mention of that in front of them. But beware of covering up your son's act and deceiving him, and not telling him of the great burden of this act. Don't plant in him that people's talk, your feelings, or your position before them is more important than the pleasure of Allah and His seeing those actions. Planting the fear of Allah in him will keep him from every evil.

The child, through the example of others and becoming used to the forbidden, may begin to love the act and repeat it. So continue to disapprove of it and don't accept his act.

Be assured that most children resort to stealing out of ignorance of it — ignorance of what someone else's property means, and what is permitted to take and what is not. The desire to possess sometimes leads him to take without looking at the consequences.

So be firm with your child, taking his age into account. Ask him to return it with his own hand if the matter repeats — the shame of the act may push him to not repeat it — but without embarrassing him at first in front of everyone. If he has kept on with the act and repeated it and your urging doesn't make him stop, oblige him to make amends in this way.

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