Chastity & Limits

How do I require my daughters to wear hijab after puberty?

Jeel al-Khilafah
Chastity & Limits

The question

Can I consult you about hijab? By Allah's grace, my older daughters wore hijab at an early age, alhamdulillah. But the younger ones, who have now reached the age of obligation, refuse hijab despite my many conversations with them about its obligation from when they were younger. I make du'a for them for guidance and covering. Any guidance, may Allah bless you?

Our answer

It pains me to tell you that you have been late in committing them to hijab. The best wearing of hijab begins early, before the age of puberty, so the girl gets used to covering, along with building her creedal and moral awareness — especially modesty. These are matters the girls are raised upon early so that steadfastness later becomes easy. Delay in this matter has its cost in our time particularly, when temptations and unveiled women multiply — and more than that, the trivializing of the evil of leaving off the obligation of hijab, and the disregard of tabarruj (display). Hearts no longer move at this evil. Excessive contact dulls feeling.

My advice: begin by creating an exemplary role-model in their eyes. Praise the hijabis and don't admire those who don't wear hijab. Tell them the stories of the Sahabiyyat (may Allah be pleased with them) and magnify in their eyes the love of the women of the Salaf. At the same time, present incentives by mentioning the merits of hijab as an identity for the Muslim woman and a sign of uprightness and obedience to Allah. In contrast, speak about the Fire and Allah's punishment for one who is slack about this obligation, which is no different from the other obligations of the religion.

I see that there should be an intervention from the father if he is present. If not, I advise you to firmness and command. The obligations of the religion do not wait for the children to accept them. This is Allah's command — they wear it without any argument, and they must hear and obey. Be very firm in this. Had the father been in this position, the matter would be easier as well, and they look to you. If they see you as essentially not firm in His command and waiting for them to accept an obligation, the time of their wearing it has been prolonged.

Be clear: you do not have daughters who don't wear hijab. We are a Muslim family who do not disobey our Lord. May Allah grant you success, make the matter easy, and delight your eyes with righteous, upright offspring.

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