The question
My son is four and a half. Masha Allah, he is bright and distinguished for his age. Alhamdulillah, Allah has destined for us to live abroad, and by Allah's grace we have known how to take advantage of his lack of distraction from any pastimes — in our home country and here as well. The problem lies in our near isolation from the world: he doesn't mix with other children, and I can't provide him with opportunities for that, and he doesn't have siblings yet. A while ago a new shift appeared in his personality, and I don't know how to deal with it. He deliberately does what he shouldn't, just to provoke. He claims fatigue or weakness when it's time to memorize or study, in an exaggerated way. I try as much as possible to put him in online classes or anything that occupies him suitable to his age and abilities. But I feel the weight of all of this on him. What do I do? Help me — I'm about to lose my temper.
Our answer
May Allah bless him for you and aid you in raising him a righteous upbringing.
The most important thing you both need is an environment of interaction with others. Try to find a righteous family through whom you can connect him with them, so he can learn more — for intelligence alone is not enough without developed skills and a personality that adapts to others. And in this you'll also find an opportunity for both you and him to be relieved a bit — that's a good, by Allah's leave.
Keep up the stories with him, and direct him to some role model. Plant in him love for that role model and the desire to follow him. Also be careful to give him during the story another side — not the role model — and explain how that could affect his behaviours, his life, and his interactions.
Increase your recitation of the Qur'an at times of weariness, or when you're angered by the repetition of his behaviour, so it is a vent and provision for this blessed work of yours.
Also, overlook those movements of his as if he hadn't done them. Then after a rest, return and ask him to complete. Make for him activities and games you share with him, so he feels your closeness.
And before all of this, seek help from Allah and rely upon Him, for He is the One who aids and sets right.
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