The question
My problem is that I hit my children severely while they are at a young age, then afterward I cry and grieve over them.
Now my eldest daughter is eight, and her character is weak and she has no self-confidence. What do I do, may Allah bless you?
I pledge to Allah and to myself to stop, and I agree with them, then I go back and hit them — and sometimes I hit them severely.
It's said of me that I am calm, but when I get angry I lose control of myself.
I also sometimes face pressures and trials, and my mental state becomes tired, and I hit the children when they make mistakes.
Our answer
Here are these steps, perhaps they will help you. First, seek help from Allah and be certain that Allah is the aid of one who sincerely seeks His help.
Make a special time between you and your daughter: reading a story, doing her hair, buying clothes for her, making a toy with her, coloring, making a dish in the kitchen, or any handcraft from Jeel's activities on the channel.
Let it be little and consistent: every two days, then once a week, and so on.
Commit yourself to reading a story with her and her siblings. When you feel anger, take time to rest alone in the room — don't fear for your children at that moment.
When you feel pressured with tasks you haven't completed, think about the most important thing to accomplish, arrange your priorities, and proceed with accomplishing it.
Remind yourself not to fall into Shaytan's snare and wrong your children due to the accumulation of pressures.
Also, don't forget your Qur'an portion and the prayer in its time.
As for your daughter, give her responsibilities in the house, praise her accomplishments, give her an activity with her peers, praise her positives, and embrace her before sleep or after helping you and working with you.
These are scattered pieces of advice — perhaps they will benefit you and ease your burden.
Have a parenting question of your own? Contact us, or follow our Telegram channel: @estesharatjeel
